What to blog lei ...

Haiz ... sian ... dun nod what to blog le ...

Over the weekend ... hehe ok la ... i still enjoy myself ...

On Friday: I go out with mama, dear dear & auntie for drinking at Ang Mo Kio after work ... it on dear dear treat ... i and mama drink quite alot ... until we both headache haha ... and for auntie ...cos she dun drink so she drink fruit juice... haha after that dear dear bring us go newton circle to eat supple... hehe after that headed home...

On sat: Great headache ...but still wake up at 6.00am... cus got to stand by ... so faster get into office ... prepare and sleep ... sleep until 10plus dear dear sms me ... but i sleep again after reply him ... then 11 plus mama call me ... chat with mama untill fall asleep ... and finally after work le ... took a cab ... and headed to dear dear house and eat breakfast tgt ... and i sleep whole day in his house again ... (like pig right?) then until 7pm i took bus back home....and continue sleep again...

On sun: I sleep until 11 plus dear dear call me... and he go IMM buy bubble tea and food for me and my sis ... *sweet sweet* then he come my house watch dvd the whole day and we both slack at home lor ... haha ... even a simple life like that i also very happy...

MC week!!!

Mc week ar ... some many people MC (the doctors gonna be rich) ... I think maybe becus of the weather not good ... everybody fall sick ...my office already got 2 person MC one after another already ... 1st is nurul ---> fever... monday and tuesday Mc next is June --->stomache .... wednesday, thursday and friday...another friend Rachel --->headache MC on monday and tuesday also *but she is not from my company* i also having a bad flu ... but still ok can come work ... becus yesterday got audit ... past few days i am real busy and tired ... tired until i fall straight to bed after i bathe ... alot of things to do ... must finish up the phone repair ... help up in invoices and check filling and alot alot ... finally audit is finish ... can relax abit ... but tomo gonna standby again sian ... but lucky until 1pm only ... hehe yesterday actually due to some issue i am in quite a bad mood ... but thanks to dear dear ... he will alway make me happy and smile... hehe ... thanks dear dear for acompanying me yesterday ... i guess mama is happy also ...

Busy!!

Sorry guys ... i have been very busy now a day ... audit coming... office alot of things to do ... ar ... gonna be crazy soon ...

anyway thanks guys for the lovely valentine's day presents and dinner ya? hehe

Thanks dear dear for accompanying me too ...

Love Ya !!!

Love you guys and take care!!!!

I will Update my blog soon after my audit ....

I'm in a mess!!!

Alot of feeling inside me ... Touch, Happy, loved, sad, heartache, helpless, disappointed, glad, confuse, happiness, pain, sadness and heartbreak.

Recently dun nod why like i everynight also crying ... got happy stuff and sad stuff also... this few days my eyes like goldfish lor ... I cried till my tears all went dry, cry till i fall asleep... I still dun win ... I Try asking myself why ... Maybe i still not good enough ... i still can't win completetly ... Haiz ... But just "WHY?" i want to ask ... no answer ... this few months got happiness and sadness ... dun nod how to say ... confuse ... I dun nod how ... suddenly feel helpless ... just like what he alway say no one can help him ... and now i got the same feelings ... really wanna give him happiness which i alway want to ... but I am just been locked outside ... can't step in ... Yesterday i am very touch and happy that he give me a 3 months promise... at the moment is just like i have fly to the heaven ... and at the next spilt moment sad to say that i have been throw to the hell as he call me again and tell me his how he feel (i mean his real feelings). I cried even more hard ... almost can't sleep ... but as i got to work today ... i cried until i fall asleep ... but only sleep like 1 hour ... tired ... eyes feel sore, pain and swallon ... but still glad that he tell me ... cus we promise each other to tell the truth and no secret between us ... then feel so heartache this morning when i am on the way to work ... keep thinking of what he tell me yesterday ... over and over again ... I today really no mood to talk, smile, work and eat ... just hope i can go home ASAP and hide inside my room, close my room door and cover my face with my pillow and cry loudly... I know crying can't stop the pain inside my heart ... But just feel like crying loudly ... very very loud until i had no voice ... cry until i am tired and fall asleep ... Sometimes just hope that i can sleep forever ... at least i dun feel the pain ... Althought i tell him yesterday ... with my tear on my face ... i say i understand how he feel ... but his real feeling does hurt me too ... after all i am still a human ... i still will feel hurt and pain ... I dun know the 3 months promise he promise me ... will it come true or maybe by then he already forgot e ... but i still hope he can give me a chance to take care of him ... as i tell him before ... i hope he will be my eternally ... sometimes I will ask myself ... I had done so much for him ... will he be move by me? He say he got ... like that time... i bring soup to his house ... and waited for him for 1 hour outside his house ... he say he is very touch ... nobody treat him so good before ... but why?... i still dun get what i want ... maybe really must leave it to fate to guild us through ... he dun nod what he want ... i got no choice but to wait and accompany him until he know what he want ...

He tell me ... he can't give me any valentine day present ... but he can accompany me ... i already very happy le ... i dun need his present ... i just want him to stay by my side ... dear ... you understand me right ... I know you do ...

Valentine Day coming ...

See people blog all blog about valentine day where their bf will bring them too and suprises that their bf will give ... make me feel so jealous lor ... haiz ... my bf will not be free on that day ... got important things he need to do ... can't blame him ... but he promise to accompany me earlier ... so i am happy also ... as for suprises ... can't wish for 1 too ... becus nod that he is not that type of Romantic person ... guess i will no flower and present for me this year too ... cus dear dear will say is waste of $$$ ... unless like last year other friend buy me flower lor ... like dric and maurice bought me sunflower last year ... and joe bought me watch ... Han sheng bought me Rocher flower ... ah boi give me and stalk of rose ... and keith make his own roses with dun nod what and deco it with a dog in the middle ... this year i guess ... i dun even have a box of chocolate bah ... but ok la ... dear dear got accompany me can le ... and he already say he never celebrate valentine day de lor ... in front of mama somemore ... haha ... no choice lor ... a simple dinner will do ... cannot ask much from him also ... Busy man is like that de ... i must learn to be more caring as this is what i choose my own ... knowing that he is like that from the start ... so accept lor ...

will not blame him but will understand him ... yup ... thats me !!!

Be there for you !!!

Today dun now why ... happen to browse through Darling's Past blog ... I see already got a heartache feeling ... He alway say he help people and who is going to help him ... He save people but no 1 save him ... tears drop from my eyes ... it has been hard for him to go through all this at his age ... Knowing that he want to stop but he can't and dun nod how ... How i hope i can share a little pain for him ... so that he will not be so Xin Ku ... But i just can't ... the only thing i can do is to take care of myself dun let him worry about me and dun add on more thing for him to fan... and this is the reason i stick to him until now ... becus i know how xin ku he is ... make me wanna take care of him more... since i nod he can't stop the things he is doing now ... so i will stay by his side to take care of him ... give him whatever he need ... help him ... Make him happy ... and share his problems ... I will not control him from going out with his friends... becus maybe this is his only entertainment left to distress himself ... If this only entertainment he also can't have it ... it is too cruel to him le ...
Also dun nod why i will say all this ... but just wanna blog ... Just hope i can accompany him and take care of him till 1 day when i really not in this world... even sometimes i know i can't help much ... but at least I am here for him ... and i want him to be well taken care by me ...
and this is the only thing i can do for him le ...